Damned If You Do Essay Example for Free

Damned If You Do EssayIn my Chemistry part, there be two bookmans who always ask make remarks or ask questions about the topics discussed a male and a female. When the male student asks questions, the people in my class sit quietly and listen to the professors explanation, but when the female student asks questions, the classincluding myself gets annoyed. They begin to roll their eyes and sneer. Even my professor seems to be annoyed at times. Often I hear my classmates complaining about her during break. They nag about how much she interrupts class with her foolish questions and interpretations, yet no genius complains about the male classmate. I thought to myself, Maybe he asks better questions than she? But after a few weeks I began to realize that the intelligence of their questions and comments tends to be the same. So why do my classmates favor the male students remarks over the female students? Everyone has their own way of saying things, moreover the way we hear what a women says is often completely different in comparison to how we would hear it if a man had said it instead.When hearing both genders communicating, we circumstantially put males above females. We look at men as more powerful than women. In Deborah Tannens book, You Just Dont Understand, she explains that the reasons for this starts at a very young age. Girls were raised to never boast. Tannen says, Girls learn that displaying well-madeity will not get them what they wantaffiliation with peers. For this, they have to appear the same as, not better than, their friends (218). Females look at boasting as showing off and rude, and feel they will be rejected if they do so.They r atomic number 18ly canvas themselves to others. In fact, women try to keep the status between them mutual. The best example is my little sister, Julie. When she plays with her friend Natalie, they always play the same character. They will agree to be sister princesses in a big castle. On the other hand, wh en I see her play with her friend Jake, he always insists on being superior to her. He says things such as Ill be Batman and youll be Robin, immediately taking the higher status.Boys feel that if they entert act dominant and subject charge people wont take them seriously. Naturally we dwell women not to boast, while with men we wear downt seem to care. If a cleaning lady told a group of people she was a founder of a huge company worth millions of dollars, they would think she was showing off and the group would automatically pass around her out of the conversation. If a man were to say the same thingbecause we are so utilize to them boastingwe would not look at it as showing off. We would think highly of him.This is why men and women are judged differently even when they speak the same way. Tannen says, If a linguistic strategy is used by a woman, it is seen as powerless if its done by a man it is seen as powerful (225). Since females dont try to be at a higher status, their s peech is often ineffective. Along with women not addressing a higher status, they also do not ask for something directly. They are more ulterior when asking for a favor. When my mom says, It would be nice if someone would put the dishes away for me, most of the time I dont.Because she is asking indirectly, I dont see the power in her question. On the other hand, if my dad says Hey put those away for me, I automatically listen. Although they were both implying the same thing, my moms statement was powerless because it was polite and indirect. Females use tag questions (227-28), such as Thats a nice dress, isnt it? The tag question makes women seem unsure. Women dont mean to sound hesitant. They say Isnt it? expecting the other person to say yes or no, and therefore starting a conversation.Tannen says, People expect women to use tags (228). We expect women to be unsure, and as a result, when they make statements or ask questions, we assume they dont know that they are talking about . Researcher Patricia Hayes Bradley says, When women used tag questions and disclaimers, subjects judged them as less intelligent and knowledgeable than men who also used them (qtd. in Tannen 228). In other words, because of the different stereotypes of men and women, we have distinctive attitudes towards what they say, and we make men dominant.Looking back at the issue in my Chemistry class, I see why I found the female student aggravating. When comparing her to the male classmate, I unconsciously looked at her as lower than him. Both males and females become accustomed to this power vs. powerless ways. It becomes everyday life. People are less likely to pay attention to an idea that is raised by a woman who doesnt assert her status, therefore making us unconsciously look at them as below men.